AMERICAN PSYCHO

magnificat effect unleashed!!

Still 9 June 1998

In a thrilling announcement on Channel 27 (Sci-Fi) today, we learned that American Psycho is to be made into a film. (To this day magnificat refuses to say movie. Standards! Godammit!)
        "So what?" I hear you ask.
Well, pin them back and listen to this, sucker. American Psycho, for those of a less literary bent, was written by Bret Easton Ellis, who featured in last week's article - the interview with Mavis my writing teacher. The film's SUPERSTAR is to be no less than my dear young pal -  written about, and photographed -   somewhere near the top of this web page - you guessed it - YES! - Leonardo DiCaprio!!!

So LeoBabe and BretBabe each stand to rake in fortune, simply for appearing on our pages. (Am I getting through to you? This is not Cable TV.) When the effect links TWO subjects like this, it is known to science as the "double magnificat effect." Rare, but stunningly effective when it strikes.

Gazza chips in by email: "Why nor, man. Worrabout me? Ah'm in two stories -  and the quiz -  and nowt good's happened ter me, hazzit, the kna's. Yer kna ah got sent yeam from the cup!"

Granny peeps over from her neighbouring website, where she sits and weaves electric spells while the spinning discs revolve in harmony with the eternal spheres: "Fuck off magnificat, you silly twat. You made me a laughing stock with your stories of drunkenness and promiscuity - neither of which are true, I think you might tell your readers."
She continues, "I go into the pub for just one or two drinks, quietly. But because I'm a star (she is, in fact) people join me and buy me drinks - and then I get drunk and then I bag off with them."
She looks around the place for her stash. "And nothing good's happened to me for being on yer damn page. All I get is evilness abundi."

magnificat replies, sagely: "Wait and see, my little protégés, wait and see..."